Bawled, actually. In the middle of my living room. By myself.
So today Pastor Matt talked about love giving generously. I caught the last part of the sermon on livestream (often when I lead worship in the evening, I try to catch part of the semon in the am to see which direction the speaker may be going so I can plan accordingly).
Here’s when I cried: when Matt talked about the church staff struggling because we are simply under staffed and under budget for the size of our church. I didn’t think I would cry, but I did because I see it and to hear Matt actually say it made it real. I see the stress on my husband. I see him come home with knots in his stomach because he has just worked a 10 hour day and still has so much to do and doesn’t know how he can get it all done.
I have a lot to do at work too, but this is different. Ministry stress is just different.
This post is personal. This is coming from the wife of a pastor. This is coming from one who volunteers much of my own time to the church. This is coming from one who sees the inside workings of church.
Its hard. Its worth it, but its hard sometimes.
My prayer today is that our church sees a need and fills it. My prayer is that 4,000 people who attend Sandals would love Christ’s bride by giving generously; not because a pastor asked them to, not because I write about my thoughts and put it on the internet, but because the Christ asked for it.