Archive | July, 2010

Angel’s Camp

28 Jul

So I know its been a few weeks since I last posted.  Andrew and I went on vacation up to Angel’s Camp, Bass Lake, and Fresno, then I came home for 3 days and left again.  Its been a busy couple of weeks.

Here’s a little recap on our vacate:

First was a stop on the way north at our favorite pizza place: Me and Ed’s pizza is the best I have ever had.  We can’t say ‘No.’

We visited a cave called “Mercer Cavern.”  16 stories underground.  The safest place to be during an earthquake.  The granite absorbs all shock waves so even 2 stories down, you wouldn’t feel a thing.

Stalactites and stalagmites.  Do you know the difference?

We found a creek in the middle of a park and cooled off a bit.  It was pretty warm that day.

I liked the big trees.  When these were first discovered, people who had never seen them did not believe that such things could exists.  To prove their existance, the discoverers would strip the trees of their bark and bring them back to their hometown.  A bit counterproductive since it started to kill the trees.  Now they are protected.

It was mostly just amazing to get away with Andrew.

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Taking a break

11 Jul

I will be taking a break from blogging for about a week.

Andrew and I are going on vacation to the mountains.  3 days at Angel’s Camp (its northern Cal near Sonora) and then 3 days at my in-laws cabin with some Fresneck friends.

Looking forward to it. 

Blog when I get back.

Emergency Fresno Trip

10 Jul

Thursday night at about 7:00pm I was talking to my friend Gina, who lives in Fresno, on the phone and suddenly knew I had to make an emergency Fresno trip.

 Here is some back story which you may or may not already know:  My best friend in the wide world, Robin, is moving to Washington D.C.  I posted about it a few weeks ago, but then when Robin informed me that they had not yet told their church (her husband Mike is the youth pastor), I quickly took it down after a day.

I am super sad but very excited about what God is doing with her and her family.

So Thursday night when Gina was telling me that she was helping Robin pack up her house while at the same time having some moments of emotional difficulty, I knew I needed to be there.

I had the same feeling I had when my grandparents were dying and I wasn’t there, and Gina had her first baby and I wasn’t there.  I wasn’t missing this one.

So, I packed a bag in 20 minutes, called my husband (who told me that if I just waited a few minutes to come home he would come with me) and we left.

I know it was just packing, but, I was glad to be there for my friend.

It was a quick trip.  We got there at midnight Thursday and then left Friday evening.

Every minute I can get with my BFF I am very thankful for. 

I am also thankful for my husband who is willing to cancel meetings and follow me on my sometimes crazy endeavors.

Worship Leader Under Pressure

9 Jul

So a few weeks ago I found out that this picture was circulating around the Sandals Staff.  Apparently, the person who started the circulating was commenting on how the church really needs to be praying for me as apparently, the pressures of worship leading has finally cracked me.  

After seeing the picture, I admitted to having a tough day.  Worship just was not going well, the church was not responding, and frankly, they just pissed me off.  So I let them know exactly what was on my mind.

 

(I am, of course, kidding.  If you look closer to the picture you can see that my finger of choice is my pointer finger). 

But you can see why we thought this was pretty funny.

Good Morning

8 Jul

Today was a morning on vacation.  I slept until 8:45 then stayed in bed for another hour to finish watching a movie Andrew and I started last night.

Then I come downstairs and have another picture that this is a good morning:

My perfect breakfast: plain yogurt and granola with strawberries and blueberries.

Coffee (pre-made by my husband before he left for work) with the perfect mug (I am very particular about my coffee mugs.  My whole hand must fit in the handle.  None of this two finger stuff).

The living room all to myself to read my Bible (I am in James right now), a little Crazy Love, and maybe some journaling while I spend some time with Jesus.

Yes.  Good morning.

The Profile of the Lukewarm

5 Jul

Still reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan.  The chapter I am currently taking a long time to get through (because I can only handle a few pages at a time) is the one called “The Profile of the Lukewarm.”  As Christians, many of us automatically assume that we are not the ones that God will “spit out of his mouth” for being neither ‘hot nor cold.’

But then I read pages that list the characteristics of the ‘lukewarm.’

Like this one:

“LUKEWARM PEOPLE think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven.  Daily life is mostly focused on today’s t0-do list, this week’s schedule, and next month’s vacation.  Rarely, if ever, do they intently consider the life to come.  Regarding this, C.S. Lewis wrote “…It is since Christians have laregely ceased to think of the other world [heaven] that they have become so ineffective in this world.”

“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” – Col 3:2

How many times have I posted about my “to-do” list?  I am learning more and more this summer that my to-do list should be my secondary thought, while “what is God wanting from me today” ought to be my primary.

Still not done with the chapter.  I am sure there is still more booty-kicking to come.

Friday was tough

4 Jul

So I was pretty discouraged on Friday.  Besides the fact that I discovered this month that our fertility treatments did not work, I also found out that we are going to have to wait at least another 2 months before we can do anything else with Kaiser.

I also realized that Kaiser and I had two different agendas:  by me going to the doctor, my initial agenda was just to find out if my body was working right on its own, Kaiser’s agenda was just to get me pregnant by giving me meds and shots (which I am still processing through how much of it I will do – its easy to get sucked in to this whole process).  On top of that, the nurse told me that by not taking the shot last month did not mean that I ovulated on my own.  That was the most discouraging part.   I thought I had.

Anyway, I can’t continue any kind of treatment for a while because the vacations we have planned this summer just happen to fall on the ‘strategic’ days these next two months.  Kaiser will not let me just take clomid without coming in for check-ups on certain days (which I also found out) because clomid increases my chances for cysts.  Nice. 

So Friday was the day I realized all this.  It was also the day that we received news from several friends and family members of:  new pregnancy, going into labor, just found out sex of the baby. 

Now what I refuse to do is to let my own grieving get in the way of my ability to share the joy with my friends about their pregnancies.  I rejoice when they rejoice.  Still, not playing the comparison game is something I have to continually give over to God.

But even through my discouragement, I took a step back and realized that I see God’s hand in this too.  My prayer the last few months has been “God, I am not strong enough to make decisions regarding the infertility process, pregnancy, adoption, etc.  You have to do something because I just don’t know what to do.”

And then somehow it has come down to (not really in my control) that I physically cannot continue treatment from any doctor for at least 2 months.  I still don’t know what He is doing, but I see His hand in even this.

In my prayers yesterday I asked God if this was His doing, if He was taking care of things.

He said “I AM.”