Anxious Sleep

I can tell when I have anxious sleep.  I chew on the inside of my cheek.  I started chewing on this one spot a couple years ago and now I have this bump that won’t go away.

(I tried to take a picture, but after seeing them, realized that no body wants to see a picture of the inside of my mouth).

Sometimes it goes down when I am good about not chewing. 

I can tell when I don’t sleep well because I wake up in the morning and that one spot  is huge.  Then its like when you bite your lip, then keep biting on accident and it hurts even more!

Andrew is in Mexico with the Pasos team so I slept the last 2 nights in bed by myself.  My bump has gotten bigger the last few days.

Guess I haven’t been sleeping so well.

Do You Believe?

If you are a teacher, have ever been a teacher, have ever worked with kids, or have kids…. you need to watch this.

We watched this video yesterday (after I had already written my previous post) at a staff meeting.  As soon as the keynote speaker started with his first sentence, I just thought “Oh, Crap!” 

‘Cause I cried through the whole thing.

They need me

Actually, they need to see Jesus in me.  They, meaning my students. 

I started school again this week.  I was a little depressed about it on Sunday night.  I told my dear friend Amanda Quillin that I needed a little pep talk to get me remotely excited about going back.  Her response was perfect.

She told me that my students need me, and I think its true.  They need someone to care for them.  They need someone to teach them that they are good at something.  They need someone to show them that they are smart and valuable and that if they work hard, they can accomplish even the hardest of tasks.

Most importantly, they need to see something different in me that shows them the love of Christ. 

As I pondered this today I thought… this is why I am a teacher.  Because I believe that I can make a difference to a few kids.  Its not about me.

And for moments like this one….

This picture was taken at the Sandals Beach Baptism last week.  This is a previous student of mine who just started going to Sandals a few weeks ago and she got baptized!

 

 

This is why I teach.

(By the way, will some of you remind me of this post in November when I have some students driving me crazy?)

Marriage Retreat

This was our 5th Sandals Marriage Retreat.  We had an amazing time.  This pic was taken at the dance on Friday night.  I have others, but without the permission of those in them, I decided not to display any “less than flattering” photos of people dancing.

 

Except this one…..

 

Please don’t think less of our 2 pastors.  They only danced the one time.

It didn’t lead to anything. =)

He’s 30

My husband is no longer a 20 something.  30.  Wow that feels wierd.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

I sure do love him.  (Even though he is a wearing 10 name tags in this picture).

A New TV!!

Andrew and I have been living in the “dark ages” (some might say), technologically speaking.  We currently have 3 TVs in the house, none of which we actually purchased and also none of which are over 24” in size. 

The one we currently watch all our movies on we received from my grandmother.  Not as a gift.  I mean, it was hers.

But tonight, we ventured out.  We found a great deal and we purchased our first TV.  Yay.

I took a few of these pictures and like this one the best because Andrew is actually giving me a real smile.  He was laughing at me because as I was crouching down to take the pic, I sneezed and had just told him that I peed my pants a little.

 

Oh well.  We don’t have to scoot the couch up to the TV anymore!

Thank You

I just wanted to say thanks to my friends who left such amazing and encouraging comments on my “Peed on a Stick” post.  I love you guys and am so thankful to have a community and family who will pray when I ask and will let me be vulnerable.  You all spoke truth into my life.

I am very blessed.

A tough one

This one is kinda hard but its been on my heart.  Andrew’s birthday is tomorrow and we threw a party for him last Friday night.  It was a lot of fun but there was one draw back…

We didn’t get to invite all our friends. 

We wanted to, but we only had money and space for so many people.  It is really hard when you love a lot of people.  I know there are so many  that are a part of Andrew’s life but we finally had to ask ourselves the question, “who does Andrew spend the most time with?”

I don’t have a conclusion to this one.  I guess I just wanted to get it out because its been on my mind.  We wish more could have been there but we are still so thankful for all the relationships God has brought to our lives.

I peed on a stick

Several, actually.  In our journey of trying to start a family, I was given a fertility monitor from a friend.  She gave me this nifty device where I pee on a stick every morning and it reads my hormone levels.

She gave it to me probably about 4-5 months ago but never used it until this month  (By the way, if this is TMI, you can stop reading.  I am just being real here).  One of the things I wrestle with is how much to take this “fertility” thing into my own hands.  I have told God that I trust Him and His timing.  And I do.  So what is the balance between saying “I trust you” but “I am still going to check stuff out for myself?”

For me, part of the answer comes if I think “what if I had cancer?”  I would go to the doctor and trust that God could heal me through the medicine and knowledge that He has revealed to His people.  It all comes from His creation anyway. 

After talking with a friend, I decided that if there is something wrong, I would prefer to  know about it now rather than later.  So this is why I have decided to pee on the stick.  The question I still have is “How far do we take this?”

This is a rollarcoaster of emotions.  Knowing that we are doing everything right gets my hopes up a bit, but then I don’t want to get my hopes up too much.  I want to know everything in my body is working right, but then I don’t want to become a crazy person obsessed with testing my hormone levels all the time.  If everything is working ok this month, does that mean I should keep doing the tests to see if its all working next month too? 

I don’t know.

Here is another vulnerable part of me.  I wrote part of a song (cause thats how I roll: parts of songs) about where I am at with all this.

“I’ll be waiting on You

Giving all of my dreams to You

I know You’re here

I trust You hear me

So I’ll keep praying

And waiting on You”

Thats what I feel like I am doing.  Waiting.  God said “Ask and you shall receive” but He never promised that we would receive quickly.

Would you pray?  I need it.

What the….What?

Okay, time for truth.  I read my own blog more often than I read anyone else’s.  Not my posts, but I look to see what people have commented.  I love it when people comment.  It makes me feel special.  (So all those of you who I find out that read my blog and I never know because you don’t comment… yes…you.. achem).

Anyway, I got onto my blog site tonight because I was curious to read my stats and compare them to my comments.  I had 2 on my last post about my “Last 3 Days.”  I was pretty excited to read them. 

But then I read the first one.  My response was a contortion of the face and  “What the….. What? Is that English?”  I read it twice to myself, then once out loud to my roomate just to make sure I wasn’t stupid.  I clicked on the person’s name and I was brought to an online BINGO game.  At least thats what I think it was.

Read the comment yourself.  Tell me what you think.