Archive | August, 2009

A tough one

18 Aug

This one is kinda hard but its been on my heart.  Andrew’s birthday is tomorrow and we threw a party for him last Friday night.  It was a lot of fun but there was one draw back…

We didn’t get to invite all our friends. 

We wanted to, but we only had money and space for so many people.  It is really hard when you love a lot of people.  I know there are so many  that are a part of Andrew’s life but we finally had to ask ourselves the question, “who does Andrew spend the most time with?”

I don’t have a conclusion to this one.  I guess I just wanted to get it out because its been on my mind.  We wish more could have been there but we are still so thankful for all the relationships God has brought to our lives.

I peed on a stick

14 Aug

Several, actually.  In our journey of trying to start a family, I was given a fertility monitor from a friend.  She gave me this nifty device where I pee on a stick every morning and it reads my hormone levels.

She gave it to me probably about 4-5 months ago but never used it until this month  (By the way, if this is TMI, you can stop reading.  I am just being real here).  One of the things I wrestle with is how much to take this “fertility” thing into my own hands.  I have told God that I trust Him and His timing.  And I do.  So what is the balance between saying “I trust you” but “I am still going to check stuff out for myself?”

For me, part of the answer comes if I think “what if I had cancer?”  I would go to the doctor and trust that God could heal me through the medicine and knowledge that He has revealed to His people.  It all comes from His creation anyway. 

After talking with a friend, I decided that if there is something wrong, I would prefer to  know about it now rather than later.  So this is why I have decided to pee on the stick.  The question I still have is “How far do we take this?”

This is a rollarcoaster of emotions.  Knowing that we are doing everything right gets my hopes up a bit, but then I don’t want to get my hopes up too much.  I want to know everything in my body is working right, but then I don’t want to become a crazy person obsessed with testing my hormone levels all the time.  If everything is working ok this month, does that mean I should keep doing the tests to see if its all working next month too? 

I don’t know.

Here is another vulnerable part of me.  I wrote part of a song (cause thats how I roll: parts of songs) about where I am at with all this.

“I’ll be waiting on You

Giving all of my dreams to You

I know You’re here

I trust You hear me

So I’ll keep praying

And waiting on You”

Thats what I feel like I am doing.  Waiting.  God said “Ask and you shall receive” but He never promised that we would receive quickly.

Would you pray?  I need it.

What the….What?

13 Aug

Okay, time for truth.  I read my own blog more often than I read anyone else’s.  Not my posts, but I look to see what people have commented.  I love it when people comment.  It makes me feel special.  (So all those of you who I find out that read my blog and I never know because you don’t comment… yes…you.. achem).

Anyway, I got onto my blog site tonight because I was curious to read my stats and compare them to my comments.  I had 2 on my last post about my “Last 3 Days.”  I was pretty excited to read them. 

But then I read the first one.  My response was a contortion of the face and  “What the….. What? Is that English?”  I read it twice to myself, then once out loud to my roomate just to make sure I wasn’t stupid.  I clicked on the person’s name and I was brought to an online BINGO game.  At least thats what I think it was.

Read the comment yourself.  Tell me what you think.

Last 3 days

12 Aug

I have 3 more days of freedom.  I meet with my department on Monday to start lesson planning and setting goals for the year.  Every school year I set a goal for myself; it helps me to continue to grow in my teaching abilities rather than getting stagnant.

This year I decided that my goal for the year would be to incorporate music into my classroom.  I want to write and teach my students songs that will help them remember stuff. 

So far I’m trying to fit Newton’s 3 Laws of Motion into the tune of BINGO.  Not sure if its working yet.  We shall see.

My work nightmares

11 Aug

Everytime I have a break (summer break, spring, christmas) from work I have work nightmares.  I think it is the anticipation of going back.

My work nightmares are about teaching.  They are 2 of them but they are mostly the same.

I am either unprepared (realized in the middle of class that I didn’t make copies, I am still in my workout clothes and not dressed right) OR I can’t control my classroom (students giving me attitude, walking around, not listening).

This is my last week of freedom. I start setting up my classroom next week and I have been having these dreams a lot lately.  They are driving me crazy!

Do you have work nightmares?  What are they?

My Fresno Reunion Trip

10 Aug

  Andrew and I spent 6 days in Fresno.  We had originally planned the trip for the purpose of attending my 10 year HS reunion.  We ended up doing a lot more than that.

Fresno Reunion Trip

 

Spent lots of time with my friend Gina and her new teeny baby Trevi. 

 

 

 

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Went to a baseball game (go Fresno Grizzlies) with my older sissy and was so excited to spend some time with my 2 nephews, Corbin and Caleb.  LOVE THEM!!

 

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Me and my Sis.

 

 

 

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Went to Bass Lake and spent the night in the cabin my father-in-law built himself.  We played cards, rode some quads, made some smores around the fire, and relaxed.

 

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My BFF Robin and her husband Mike also came up wth their kids.  I love spending time with her.

 

 

 

And now for the reunion.  I went to a small school so I knew everyone there.  Only problem with going to a small school… when half the class doesn’t show up, you have a reunion with 30 people.  The dancing didn’t so much work out.  My friends were calling me old because I wanted them to turn the music down so we could ‘talk.’  Overall, the actual event was just… um… ok. But I had a great time “reuniting.”  Gotta say, I was not suprised by anyone. 

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The next morning us girls had a mini reunion of our own.  In HS, the 4 of us did everything together.  This is Me, Anya, Gina, and Carmen.  After HS Anya moved to Irvine, Gina to Colorado, Carment to Tenessee and we have been several places since then.  The last time we were all together was at my wedding.  This was really cool. 

 Before we left I got my last “Fresno food desire.”  A FULL-O-BULL sandwhich.  The guy thought it was a little wierd that I wanted to take his picture while he made my sandwhich but he was a sport.

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This was a great week.  Today I am being an introvert and staying home.  Loving that too.

Been In Fresno

8 Aug

I have been in Fresno this past week.  Eaten some Me-and-Ed’s pizza, had a little Tahoe Joe’s steak, and had lots of tri-tip.  Andrew and I are definately not wasting away.

Going to my 10 year High School reunion tonight.  Feeling very excited but a little nervous at the same time.  Can any one explain this?

Have you been to your HS reunion?  If so, how did you feel about it?  Nervous?  Excited?  Obligated?

Pictures will follow when I get on my own computer