This has been a wierd month

2 Jul

About 6 months ago I wrote a post that described my up and down internal struggle with the whole pregnancy thing.  To recap: Andrew and I started trying to get pregnant last summer; didn’t happen.  Put a pin in that plan when we decided to go to Africa due to the shots I had to take, then had to wait 3 months afterward to get it all out of my system, started trying again in March. 

Since March I have been in a much better place.  Genuinely putting our fate with having kids into God’s hands and trusting His timing for our marraige and our future family and I hadn’t really given too much of my emotions to it.  But June was a different month.

For some reason, I secretly really believed that I was pregnant.  And the wierd thing was, Andrew did too.  Even though it would have been too early for me to know for sure, I started being careful about my caffeine, when we went on vacation, I didn’t have a drink, I didn’t take ibuprophrin when I had a headache, etc. 

I never had any of the normal clues or signs that I was pregnant, but I did notice that I wasn’t sleeping normally, I didn’t feel like eating how I normally do.  AND, I have had several people in the last few weeks say “I feel like you are pregnant.  Are you pregnant?”  Wierd, right?  That doesn’t normally happen.  I started to believe it. 

But, the lunar cycle made a full circle and a new month has started.  I woke up this morning with the tell-tale sign that I am infact, not pregnant. 

Am I sad?  Yeah.   Did my eyes just well up when I wrote that?  Yeah. 

But, I told God “whatever” He wanted to do with me and I meant it. 

He knows.

3 Responses to “This has been a wierd month”

  1. Nicole July 2, 2009 at 6:13 p07 #

    😦 On Sunday, I saw you and secretly thought you might be, too…don’t know why. You didn’t look different, but you kinda did, you know? So sorry, hun. You’re right…only He knows.

  2. amfunches July 2, 2009 at 6:13 p07 #

    Praying it happens for you and Andrew….SOON! You two are going to be great parents when it does happen! Keep us posted and have fun during the “trying” process! LOL

  3. Mel July 3, 2009 at 6:13 p07 #

    I hope you don’t have to wait as long as my husband and I (almost 4 years and counting), but I did want to share that if you do, the pain can diminish. I prayed for peace, and after about a year, I was blessed with it. We’re in a holding pattern now (no treatments or anything), maybe even a discernment period–perhaps God has something else in mind for our lives?
    Peace be with you!

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