Insecurity vs. Humility

14 Sep

So, as I have posted previously, I have definately felt the emotional weight of my new resposibilites as a worship leader lately.  Last Sunday morning I woke up thinking, “Me?  I am SO not the right person for this job.”  Then all the reasons why I’m not the right person goes running through the brain.

You’re not the best singer at the church.   You didn’t wake up early enough to read your bible today.   You spent more time on what you looked like today than you did preparing your heart to worship.  Why are you the leader?

Then I went to church:  Pastor Matt talked about leading not because you the most qualified but because it is God who works through those who lead.   Even though He may have gifted someone to be an amazing leader, God’s greatness is only perfected through those who realize they can’t do it on their own and rely on Him.  

This brings me to my point: There is a fine line between insecurity and humility that I need to continue to learn.  Insecurity about the gifts God has given me keeps me from using them and allowing Him to work through me.  Humility is what recognizes that whatever gifts I do have, I have because God has given them to me.  And if God thought to give me a gift, I can do nothing but allow Him to work. 

I must step aside and admit:  No, I’m not the perfect singer, the most spiritual, or the best worship leader there is, but for whatever reason, I’ve been put in a place of leadership.  And if God thought well enough of me to give me such a blessing, I can’t let my insecurities cloud the awesome ability God has to work through me if I simply make myself available to be used. 

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One Response to “Insecurity vs. Humility”

  1. Jim Heinrichs September 14, 2007 at 6:13 p09 #

    Becca,
    To borrow a cliche’, (though it is not untrue) “Not only should you remember who you are, but also Who’s you are.” Proper humility lets us admit like Isaiah that we are a people of unclean lips. But then our Father amazes and shows us the special calling he has for us and sends and angel with a hot coal to lay on those lips, cleanse them and press us into service to accomplish something great for Him.

    Dad

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